I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize