No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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