so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
