You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
