when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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