We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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