Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
