White coat. Heels.
I don't think brook has ever known best
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
