please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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