why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
