just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
