need another drink. this is the easiest way
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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