His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
