This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
