david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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