You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
