You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
