Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
