I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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