Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
