She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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