after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize