I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
