why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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