is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize