apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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