Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize