Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
