I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
