You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
