Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Randomize
