i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
