i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
