Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
