Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
