how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
