So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
