One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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