you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
