my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
