Redeem this text for a blowjob
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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