Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
