I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
