I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
