Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
