i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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