I cannot find my penis.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
