Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
