I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize