why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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