I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize