i barfeds in our rink
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The uberlube is also flammable
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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