ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
