I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
