thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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