East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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