I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
