His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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