Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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