I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
