I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize