ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
