just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she peed on how many people?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
