My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize