love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
