i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
