at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize